No Worries!
Worry; apprehension, fear, anxiety, hesitation, concern or
distress. Worry refers to thoughts and
emotions of a negative nature to avoid anticipated potential threats.
When I first began doing family history work, I was worried
and concerned that maybe I might upset someone by asking too many questions
about their relative. I wanted to be
respectful, but I also wanted the information and stories about their parent,
grandparent or sibling. The closer the
relative the more concerned I was about this.
Surely, I didn’t want to upset a child, who had years earlier lost a
parent. I also didn’t want to make
anyone cry! My goal was to gather
information and stories from the people closest to the deceased.
In the beginning, I was careful with my questions and
careful when directing conversations about those who had passed. I didn’t want sadness and I definitely didn’t
want to make anyone to cry.
After my husband passed away I realized two things; it is an
honor to remember the deceased and secondly because someone cries doesn’t mean
it is sadness.
I learned it is an honor to remember and recount the stories
that make up a deceased one’s life. It
is honoring their memory to pass forward their stories and their impact on our
lives. Every time we mention a deceased
person’s name, they live on in our memories and in our stories.
I will never forget talking to Kathleen Fletcher (153) about
her grandfather; Hugh “Chappy” Roberts (26).
You could feel the love she felt for him. Her words spoke about him in a loving manner,
but outside of her words, you could feel her heart explode with love and
admiration for her sweet grandfather.
Just listening to Kathleen I was able to understand Hugh” Chappy” Roberts
in a manner that no document, source,
newspaper article, certificate or letter could ever convey.
Crying or tears don’t represent sadness, but rather love;
love for that person, love when remembering the sweet memories and love when
recounting how their lives touched us and our own lives. None of the people I have spoken to have ever
cried. None of them have even shed a
tear. Everyone I have met has been happy to
share stories and memories of their loved ones.
And, I have had no worries…
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